(y/n)’s Pov: I don’t like him very much. I don’t like the way his lips curl to form up a smile. I don’t like the way his eyes twinkle when he sees his morning coffee. I don’t like his cologne nor I like how he taps the table when he becomes nervous or impatient. I don’t like his childish behaviour nor I like him brooding. He is everything that I don’t like. But the thing I hate about him the most is no matter what he does, he always makes me fall harder for him. Everyday feels like I’m standing on edge of something. Whenever I see him, whenever I hear him, I’m always standing on the edge of something unknown. He was the trouble I loved.
I quickened my steps as I realised I was late again. I ran up the stairs and entered the hallway. Please, please! Make the professor late. I sent out silent prayers as I opened the door to the classroom. “Finally you’re here!” the professor mocked me. I apologised and took a seat opposite to him. He gave me a puzzled look. Usually we would sit together, but nowadays I like to maintain the distance between us. After all I don’t like him very much. I opened my notebook and started taking the notes. I engrossed myself in lecture. Right now my only dream is to study hard and get a good job. And no one is going to stop me from achieving it.
The class ended and I collected my stuff and got up from my seat. “Why do I feel like you’re avoiding me?” he asked. I could feel his warmth behind me. He was close and I could literally taste the musky scent of his cologne. My heart started beating faster. I don’t like him very much. I really don’t, but he has this kind of effect on me and I hate it. I really do. I turned around and took a few steps back to maintain the gap. “I’m not. I have just been busy!” I replied and left the classroom as soon as I could. I heard him calling after me but I almost ran towards the ground and sat down behind the nearest tree.
What is really happening with me? After the drama project started, I don’t know why but it just hurts to see him. “Why are you hiding?” someone asked. I looked up and saw the face I wanted to see the most. It was Oh Mina, my best friend. She sat beside me. “I’m not… I lied. She gave me a sharp look but continued. “Professor was looking for you. He said that he wants to start the marketing of the drama.” I nodded and we set off to the auditorium. We reached there within 10 minutes and quickly went through the details.
After finishing it, I took a seat at the far end and looked at the stage. Soon my drama was going start. Everything was ready. It was my first project. Few weeks back, I won the first place in script writing competition and after that everything happened so quickly that it still feels like a dream. The leads were chosen, the dates were set, everything was complete and I was happy. Until I saw my leads. It was Minseok and So Eun and everyone loved them. I didn’t say anything, actually I was happy but there was a strange feeling in my gut that I couldn’t comprehend. Perhaps it was when I realised that my feelings of friendship towards him changed. And there was nothing I could do about it. Mina took the seat beside me and looked at the stage. They all had started rehearsing. “You’ve got good leads. They really look good together.” she chirped joyfully. I nodded in agreement. Minseok looks good with So Eun. There’s no chance for me.
The rehearsal ended after 4 hours. Along with being a scriptwriter, I was also a prop manager. So it was my duty to check and assemble everything before I left. I was working late night today because tomorrow was our first show. I moved few boxes when I heard footsteps coming towards me. I turned around and it was him. “You should go home.” he said as he picked up a box. “Not until I finish this.” I replied without looking at him. I could feel the disappointment in his face but I chose to ignore. I must not feel anything for him. I. Must. Not. “Why are you being like this with me?” he asked frustrated. I turned around and faced him. “You keep on ignoring me like I have done a grave mistake! If you’re angry, you gotta tell me!” he snapped. My heart was beating furiously against my chest. “Neither I’m angry at you nor I’m ignoring you.” I replied. Please just leave me alone with my feelings. I wanna get over them. “You seem like you don’t want to be friends with me anymore!” he said. Hurt was written all over his face. I stopped on my tracks. I was shocked and my inwards just came crumbling down. “I..I..” I stammered. “I guess.. I have my answer now..” he said and left me all alone in the auditorium. Why can’t we say the things we want the most? I wanted to stop him but I stood there frozen at my spot. That was day when I had my first heartbreak.
Our show was an instant hit. People just couldn’t get enough of it. They praised the leads, the script, the direction, basically everything. Everyone loved Minseok and So Eun together. Netizens stated them as the MinSo couple. Obviously they look good together but I wonder how I would have looked beside him. Stupid of me, I don’t suit him. He is far better than me in everything. Days passed quickly when we all were busy. We had shows in different places now. One month passed this way. Minseok and me were hardly on talking terms. But every now and then I could feel his stare on me. Actually I missed him a lot but this was better. It hurts less when we are not talking.
It was our 3rd show for the week and it was happening in our college’s auditorium. As usual the show was grand. It was the story of two people who wanted to end their lives but eventually when they went to die, they found each other and told the other not to give up and then fell in love and all. Basically it was pretty normal but people seemed to love it.
It was raining hard that day. Everybody went back home. I was arranging everything for the next day. I turned around, saw Minseok climbing down the stairs when he slipped on a banana peel and landed himself in the box of white powder. I bursted out laughing when I saw his face painted in white powder. He realised he looked funny and started laughing as well. Then all of a sudden he manhandled me and put me in the box as well. I coughed and looked at him in protest. But soon we both bursted out laughing because we both looked like ghosts.
“What happened to us (y/n)..why did we change?” he asked me. His face was filled with sadness. I stepped out of the box and dusted myself. Feelings Minseok. Feelings happened between us. “I don’t know..” I lied. “Who made you like this? You barely smile these days.” he asked cautiously. It was true. The more I looked at them together, the more my smile faded. I wanted to be the one next to him but…but.. There’s no place for me. He is like the sun I can’t touch. If I get too close, I’ll be the one to burn. “You..” I replied coldly.
We were supposed to have our drama in open stage for the first time. It was very cold that day. Both Minseok and So Eun were done with their make up. I entered the makeup room and talked to the staff. I noticed that So Eun was missing her jacket. “Where’s your jacket?” I asked her. “I forgot.” she replied. I handed her my jacket and she gave me a confused look. “Wear it.” I said. “What about you then?” she asked politely. “I..I have another” I lied and went out of the room. It was a wrong decision because as soon as I stepped out my body started to freeze. Nevertheless I walked to the stage and arranged the lights. I saw Minseok walking towards me. For some reason he was raged. He came closer and handed me his jacket. “If you take this out. You’ll see the worst of me!” he threatened me and walked away. Just like I said, anything he did made my heart flutter.
We were chosen by the Drama Association after our success. Me, our leads and the director went to meet them. We entered the room and saw a guy around our age. He greeted us and we took our seats. “Hello! I’m Zhang Yixing. I’m going to help you guys with the production.” as he introduced himself. We went over the details altogether. Strangely I felt that he was staring at me a lot. I looked at Minseok and he was trying his best to hide a scowl. Everything was set and we were supposed to work together soon. The meeting ended and before leaving Yixing stopped me. “I would really like to know you personally, so here’s my number.” he said shyly and walked away. My eyes landed on Minseok and for some reason he looked furious.
That night I called Yixing because Mina wouldn’t stop bothering me. I must say he is a nice person. We went on few dates and he even helped me in the sets. But whenever we were together Minseok just seemed to pop out of nowhere and bother us. He would come with different excuses to keep me busy and mostly apart from Yixing. One night when me and Yixing were working together he again popped out of nowhere. He kept on glaring at Yixing. I got up and grabbed his hand to pull him away in the lawn. “What is your problem?” I asked him. “Are you two dating?” he asked out of nowhere. “That is none of your concern!” I snapped back at him. “Yes it is my concern!” he yelled at me. “Why? Who am I to you?” I almost choked on my words. “You.. You..” he stammered. “It doesn’t matter. Don’t date him.” he said. “It matters Minseok! It matters to me!” I yelled as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. “I really liked you a lot! Hell I still like you like a fool! But what’s the use? You are never going to like me back! And why would you? We don’t even look good together.” I said. My insides were aching. He looked sad. “(y/n)..” he said and took a step forward. I backed away and said “Don’t Minseok! Don’t! I’m already hurt enough. I just want to get over you now! But I hope you find someone better!” I said and ran away.
She liked me. All this time she liked me and I never knew. “Stupid! I’m really a stupid.” I whispered to myself. But it all became cleared to me. Now I understand why she started to ignore me after the drama project got accepted. It was because wherever we went they only talked about me and So Eun and how good we looked together. I noticed the look on her face but I was ignorant to it. I never thought she would start to believe it. That fool. She should have told me first instead of listening to them. Only if she knew how much it angered me to see her with that Yixing.
The next day I went to the set to get things straight with her. I looked for her everywhere but she was no where to be found. I spotted Mina and asked about her. “I don’t know. I can’t find her too. She has a really important interview you know.” but before she could finish her sentence I already ran from there and started looking for her. I searched everywhere but she was no where. I checked in the library and then I saw her snuggled up in the corner. This girl! “You! I was looking for you everywhere” I said and walked towards her. She looked at me startled. “What are you doing here?” she said. I grabbed her arm and pulled her close to me. “W-What are you doing?” she asked clearly shocked. Before she could ask anymore questions I leaned in and kissed her. “You’re a fool. You believe everyone but not me. You should have told me first. I like you too. I have liked you from the first moment I saw you. Don’t listen to others. We don’t look good together because we look the best together.” I said cupping her face. Her eyes were big with shock. “You like me?” she asked. I nodded and hugged her.
3 years later
(y/n)’s Pov: “Minseok! Get ready please!” I yelled at him. He just sat there looking at his clothes. “Come on please!” I nudged his arm. He suddenly pulled me close and pecked me on my lips. “Now I’ll go.” he said and again pecked my lips. Just like I said whatever he does makes my heart flutter and I hate this because I don’t like him very much, but because I love him very much.
Written by Nabamita Kanjilal, Kolkata, West Bengal, India (Korean Culture India Fan Club)
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